What To Do If You Are Too Shy

Do you suffer from constant or even chronic shyness? Do you feel uncomfortable when socializing with others, especially with new acquaintances or people you have just met? If you answered “yes” to one or both questions, then you are definitely too shy for your own good.

The good news is that you can remedy your shyness by following our simple yet effective tips on overcoming shyness. You will be surprised at how easy it can be to get a running start on graceful socializing. It’s not hard to meet new friends when you know the secrets!

1. Shy people struggle to get conversations going. Here’s an expert tip: if you have met someone before, remember to mention something important that he/she has shared in the previous interaction. This essential detail could be anything – it could be a new manicure, the fact that he has just changed the oil in his car, etc.

You are going to mention a specific detail in the current interaction to show the subject (i.e. the other person) that you were paying attention. Remember something that mattered to another person will automatically make the subject feel more special and they will reciprocate by warming up to you.

Even if you still feel shy while talking to the other person, it would be that much easier to continue the conversation since there would be motivation to sustain the dialog from both sides of the fence.

2. When you feel even the slightest bit of anxiety before interacting with someone, break down that emotion and tie it up with what is really happening. Often, a small dose of reality is enough to nip anxiety and shyness in the bud. Asking questions like “why should I feel shy in the first place?” can give you much needed perspective at the exact moment that you feel vulnerable.

Yes, shy people essentially feel vulnerable during social situations. The only way that you can address this vulnerability is by showing yourself that reality isn’t as bad as your mind purports it to be. And even if you don’t succeed completely with one or two attempts, it doesn’t mean that other interactions will produce the same outcomes.
3. Another way to improve a conversation and keep it going is by complimenting the other person. Keep compliments simple and sincere. Too many compliments can backfire as the other person may take the compliments as a sign that you are an insincere individual. A simple, sincere compliment can change the way the other person views you through his rose-colored lenses. Remember: each person has his own pair of rose-colored lenses. We all see the world differently; that’s a fact.

4. Your body language accounts for more than 50% of what is actually being communicated to the other person. Verbal language conveys specific information, but it is your body language that speaks volumes about what you really think and feel. Practice being more open in your gestures and keep smiling while talking to new people.